Monday, January 26, 2009


If you haven’t dined at Daniel in the last four and a half months, you haven’t dined at Daniel.


Scary quit name dropping people who you were introduced to in passing, who gift you a professional politeness you take very much too personally. You are a very WEIRD and annoying girl. And you will likely make good on your promises to “stalk” until you “get in”. Stalking, that signature JA tactic, will “get you in” nowhere but the courthouse in LA, lovey.

You are 26, right? You claim you are SO connected in LA. You “know people” and all that. Why have we NEVER seen you hitting ANY of the hard-to-get-into hot spots? Was it you I breezed past last night, flanked by disillusioned gay worshippers? Freezing your ass off outside in the rain and cold, doorman looking right through you? How “connected” you are in LA! Where the only place that will let you in is the Abbey in West Hollywood with your gay boys. Drop Julia’s name in LA, babygirl, and no one bats a false eyelash. Your “style” makes you look just a LITTLE too old to even be there.

YOU ARE NOBODY. Accept that and move on and then MAYBE you can find some inner peace in that acceptance.

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