"Not so glam, a little more real."

Scary is doing a new photo shoot today.

"I’m excited to get pictures with a new perspective. Not so glam. A little more real. Well, as real as you can get during a photo shoot. Purposely, I haven’t pulled any clothes. I’m doing my own hair and makeup. It should be pretty authentic. "

Then this:



Doesn't that look "not so glam"? Real? Authentic?

I know I personally always hang out in homes that don't belong to me wearing borrowed clothes and give myself kissyfaces into the mirror as I apply my makeup.

Doesn't everyone?

Real and authentic would be to wear your OWN clothes, take the photos in your OWN home...

Oh. That's right. She doesn't have a home yet (still), most of her clothes are apparently still in storage, and she probably DOES kissyfaces to her reflection when applying makeup.

Real and authentic would be Mary inside her storage space digging through boxes searching for something to wear (and her dignity).

He Fits Right In

Oy

Julia celebrated her 28th birthday with a "bicoastal birthday party", which she shared with Randi Zuckerberg. A few things to note. Tacky tacky matchy matchy sequined dresses (which I'm sure Julia didn't pay for) and plastic pumps. Headbands and earrings from Claire's or some such teeny bopper mall store. Pink and blue was the color scheme... but Meghan didn't wear pink or blue. Something else I find interesting is... with 4 photogs at each party... why was there not one picture of all three girls, "sisters", best friends... And the birthday cake had only Randy's name, though it was a "joint" party. The rumor mill has been spinning that there's a rift between the girls and I'm actually starting to believe it. Meghan looks miserable in almost every picture she's in and Mary seems to be laughing AT Julia and not with her.


Rachel Sklar: Um, get the fuck OFF me, you crazy bitch!


ME! Mememememememememememeeeeeee!


Julia finally gets some. Cupcakes.


JA does her best villian pose. Could she be any more vain? Is it even possible?

She looks like a wax figure.

Julia does TOO have depth... I mean... look at the WORK OF ART she admires at the MOMA with Mama...

Full on Monet.


This one, she literally captioned "Art."

True colors.

This Isn't Really That Shocking

For shits and giggles I checked out Julia's posting stats...



In order of appearance (*snickers*):

3414 photo posts... NO! Really?
235 video posts
___

3649 "image" related entries, educated guess would be about 97% of those are vanity shots of herself

640 "regular" posts
264 links
236 quotes
242 conversations
___
1382 "content" related entries

I'm just sayin.

Love this tool.
Not this tool.

I'm beyond curious. If you are going to share about your family and mention things like that your mother hasn't spoken to you in a month... if you also promise to tell us ALL about it "later" (among a long list of other topics to be discussed "later": CES, Davos, the article about internet haters, what's going on with you and your mom... fuck, I know there's more but off the top of my head...), why does later never seem to come? It's not that you HAVE to share. It's that you choose to share when saying something about it works in your favor somehow, and then you don't follow through. And then typical Julia I guess is to think we are all so stupid we've forgotten and you don't hold yourself accountable. To yourself. WTF, pro? If you don't plan to share about things don't say you will. Diareah of the mouth. Is there a colonic for that? Ask Mary.

Now it's like nothing happened, and there's momsers playing gramma to the dog. I think if you have been having issues with your mother that are THAT intense, maybe now is the time to sit and have a real heart to heart and not shallow it up with liveblogging your family dysfunction as it unfolds, which probably plays a part in answering some of this in the first place.

The Walk Off Head to Toe from Mary Rambin on Vimeo.

They take the Zoolander reference seriously here with an all out "walk off". But what's missing is the uber-wedgie that made it funny in the movie. See now if Mary just would have...

A girl can dream.

What an embarrassing mess.
Over the top in a bad way.

You're either not trying at all or trying too hard.
Find your shade of gray, Mary.

juliaallison:

Then I saw the back … ehhhh … if it makes the model look like SirMixALot candy, I think I’ll stay away from it.

This isn't a comment about your body, this is a comment about your perspective. If you talk about how you feel you have gained weight (which you do) then that doesn't line up with you commenting that someone else, let alone a model... looks like "SirMixALot candy".

Don't candy-dish it out if you can't take it.

juliaallison:

Sorry, I can’t figure out a better way to show the whole outfit.

Liar. You are just taking advantage of the fact that black is slimming. The jig is up, Julia. My soft spot for you has officially hardened. There IS something about Mary… I’m just starting to realize that there are a few MORE things about you.

All bets off: full disclosure as of tomorrow. Right now I am just too “exhausted”.

From actual WORK.

Hmm, god forbid I start directing my venom at you Ghoulia, my shitty little snark Tumblr might just vanish! *ghasps!*

PS: I started tracking stats for this site on January 15th just after Mary shouted us out for the third time on her own blog (um, why?):

Dear NS: Thank you so VERY much for 45,801 total page views, 21,602 total visitors, and 2.1 page views per visit since that date. Considering generating “hits” was never my goal… and I only recently put ads on this page… I’ve probably “earned” more actual income from these ads than NS has as a whole.

Since conception.

Bitch.

juliaallison:

Heidi Klum, sporting a very Mary Rambin hair bob!

maryrambin:

And my thick black cateye I stole from her in Septemer at the last Fashion Week.

Whew, we’re finally on the same page.

And might I say, she looks very sexy!

I really hope her hair is just pulled back.

How can your hair look like “Gumby” when Gumby. Has. NO. Hair?

Um, like… I don’t get it.

*twirls a lock of hair, snaps gum, giggles*

So disgusting.

Left: undies

Right: no undies

Just keepin’ it real, right?

maryrambin:

Remember my Natasha phase from the holidays? In a frenzy to get out the door last night, I revisited one of black ensembles. Very sleek, and hopefully sexy.

natface:
I am now embarrassed to be named this.

@ natface: LOL awww poor baby, it’s fine. At least it’s the name of her other personality and not her real name. Who does she think she is? Beyonce? Sasha Fierce is now Natasha Fierce? And what’s this:

“I revisited one of black ensembles.”

Again: if this is just a personal blog, no big deal. But you continue to call this a business and continue to show zero pride or professionalism in your “work”.

maryrambin:

Ooo, view from the side isn’t so cute. I really need to learn how to blow this cut out. I can’t walk around looking like Gumbi from behind.

You look like a 37 year old divorcee. No joke.

How fucking anticlimactic.

Scary reveals her haircut and it’s no shocker I am not impressed. Just once I wish she would surprise me. If I liked it I really would say so. After cutting off so much of her ends, how is it that her hair still looks fried? And the layers don’t blend as smoothly as the Katie cut. The only reason she made us wait until today was so she could dress up for no reason other than to “fake laugh” into her iPhone camera because she probably looked like shit last night.

I just threw up a little in my mouth.

maryrambin:

Here it is, my Katie cut in a Mary Rambin classic pose. I love it!

Actually, that’s Julia’s classic pose. Not yours.

And the cut really does NOT look like Katie’s. Sorry.

maryrambin:

Fake laugh looks good.

Fake laugh looks retarded. Poser. Why would you “fake” laugh?